i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
