They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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