This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
