no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
