they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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