it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
3 2 1 whiskey
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...