I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.