you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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