I just threw up on my dentist
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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