Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
