I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
