I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
