At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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