Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
