wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
