Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
