We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
