my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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