when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Come see our sink grown plant.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
