i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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