i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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