When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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