clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
