If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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