Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
