Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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