I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
