I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize