Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
