I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
