she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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