She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
