somebody snuck up and got me drunk
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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