i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
