Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
