Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize