we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
