Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.