Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?