you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.