sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we're making bets on your personal life
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.