hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.