He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
