If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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