dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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