i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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