Your tits are I can't wait for
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
