The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
