I must be too annoying 4 u.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
