ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
