my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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