I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
