Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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