i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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