that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
