Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
