youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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