tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize