Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
