I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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