That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
