Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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