His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
