Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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