Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
